Kingdom Keys: Establishing Your Boundaries in Relationships

Often times, Christian women are challenged with intolerable and rude comments that may be received from persons you may feel that is treading in your territory. At times it may be considered excessive, especially when the intruder feels an individual do not know how to handle a particular type of conflict that may arise in a subtle moment.
Your environment and internal design is similar to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as declared in the Holy Bible. Our environment exist of what is outside and inside our body, soul, and spirit. God has created us in His likeness. God has given you an outline for His Kingdom, including exposing your intricate capabilities. Therefore, you will need to learn your body, soul, and inner-spirit's strengths and weaknesses, opportunities, and threats to gather complete analysis of how you can prevent intrusion into what you may define as your boundaries.
The following kingdom keys can help empower you with quality and unique boundaries for your daily life in the Kingdom of God.
One - Self-Awareness
First start by identifying the areas where you feel you are being invaded on in your professional and personal environment. Women face many areas and struggles with establishing boundaries, especially when there is not much time in the day to understand the areas of their environment that is being penetrated.
Who, What, When, Where, Why and How can help you to define the intrusion. How do you feel when someone is coming into your territory to trouble you? Why does it make you feel that way? Do you feel like it is an attack on you emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually? When did it happen? It could be all. Do you feel that your territory is being invaded on purpose? Where does it happen? Why do the intruder feel comfortable in your environment? Do you feel threatened or being taken advantage of? Are you mentally or physically abused? Answering some of these questions are just a few details to help you identify and prevent an intruder from controlling you in the future.
The identification process may be painful. However it will move you closer to knowing how the pain is generated, how to stop it. and healing it.
Two - Examine Your Strengths
What strengths do you have to secure your external and internal environment? Some common strengths you may have as a Christian may be your relationship with God, your ability to pray to God, your study of the Holy Bible, and your access to the Holy Spirit.
Other strengths could be your access to Godly wisdom, knowledge, and understanding from the Holy Bible. You are still living and breathing to make an adjustment to your lifestyle and boundaries. You may have a Christian relationship network to fellowship with that can encourage and strengthen you with Godly council or wisdom. You are more than able to overcome the whelms of the intruder. You have now discovered who your intruder or intruders are. Your senses are active to be able to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel the spirit of the intruder. Likewise, your sense help you know how it is for you to feel good about yourself. Practice coming up with as many strengths that you can, so that you can establish strong boundaries by writing them down. Positively you will be capable of setting boundaries to defeat the enemy in any environment.
Three - Examine Your Weaknesses
Typical weaknesses may be the fear that may have allowed in your environment or a period of time when all of your boundaries were shut down giving room for the intruder. You may have been trying to fight the battle alone in which can make you feel tired and defeated. You may have felt that you did not have anyway out of facing your intruder. Allowing the thoughts of having to see or hear from your intruder may make you feel very uncomfortable at present, but you can overcome these emotions. There are many other weaknesses that you may want to list as well.
Four - Examine Your Opportunities
One opportunity you may have access to is being assertive. You may not have said anything at times when your environment was being invaded, but you may have thought about it many times. Usually when you have had time to think about it, you would have come up with a good comeback that would have established a boundary or limitation for the intruder. Now you only have to put it into practice. Another opportunity is to consider yourself as the best interest. Make yourself first instead of the norm of making yourself last. Think about opportunities you have available that are logical. For instance, one person may be thinking about leaving their job because of a form of harassment. This may not be the best option. You want to consider looking at all of your avenues such as is there a way to remedy the situation where you are, consider your finances, consider your longevity, consider your retirement, and many more other factors. In most cases, boundaries can be established to remedy any situation.
Five - Examine Possible Threats
Threats are things that you fear that you may experience after you have defined your boundaries to the intruder that is invading your environment at any given time. Will you be able to overcome the feelings and sometime emotional deeply disturbing and distressing experience that it has caused afterward. In most cases you will. You have to know that you are valuable and worth defeating your intruder just for your well being. Your peace, joy, and happiness is threatened if you do not pursue your boundaries and keeping them. Think about other threats that you consider of importance to succeed any invasions and write them down. God will be with you every step of the way.
Six - Study Your Bible Regulary
The Holy Bible is the greatest weapon you have access to empower and equip you against any works of the enemy. The Word of God can strengthen you and increase your faith to stand with your boundaries in every season and with no matter who you have to face. There are times God will relate to you through scripture about given situations. Take advantage of the greatest tool available to women. Studying the Holy Bible is a must, in order to be equipped and empowered for all challenges in life. Write down scriptures that encourage, strengthen, and empower you.
Seven - Be Consistent In Prayer
Your communication with God will be a viable asset to your empowerment to establish qualifying boundaries. Every communication usually receives and answer. God's answers can provide you with inspired wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that no one else will be able to provide you with at given times. Of course, prayer with others also will help to strengthen you in support. A prayerful Christian support network will also receive insight from God to help you along your journey in developing your boundaries.
Eight - Define Your Environment
Your environment is a makeup of your body, soul, and spirit. It affects you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So the intruder at times will try to penetrate each area. It is important for you to be well equipped to have quality limitations to each area of your environment.
A women is made up of the body, soul, and inner-spirit according to the Holy Bible. First Thessalonians 5:23 says, "The God of peace Himself sanctify you wholly, and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete." Also the Apostle Paul wrote in Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and operative and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit and of joints and marrow, and able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart." The Holy Bible also tells us God our Abba Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are considered as one entity although they can be comprised individually as one each.
Your body or flesh is a touchy and sensitive area that is vulnerable to many physical aspects. So it can be tied to the physical part of your establishment of boundaries. For instance how close do you want someone to get to your body. Your body is what allows you to communicate with the physical world. Therefore it must play a role in the interpretation of your limitations.
Your soul is a make up of your emotions and mental function of the mind. If someone was to pinch your body it would activate you soulish realm. You would express either a bad emotion, or a good forgiving emotion. You can consider how it would affects your soulish realm and determine what type of boundaries you want around it. Having a clear understanding of your senses can help you to remain intellectually sound when an intruder is in your midst to set the boundaries you define.
Your inner-spirit affects the spiritual nature of your boundary settings. There is a difference between the Holy Spirit and the human spirit. Romans 8:16 shows us that the spirit of man is different from the Holy Spirit; the two are not the same. "The Spirit Himself witnesses with our spirit that we are children of God." It has a lot to do with your worship and fellowship with God, your conceptual thinking, and your connection with God. Of course the intruders would like to prevent or stop your communion so that he can continue to invade your territory freely. Once you have a clear understanding of the necessity of our inner-man spirit having boundaries that will protect you spiritually, you will be able to define them concisely. The inner-spirit is also spoken of as the heart of man. Once the Holy Spirit of God is connect with your inner-man spirit there is a release of power that will cause the intruder to flee and fear your newly defined boundaries. Write down what you know about your body, soul, and spirit. Think about how you can use each area of your environment to set quality boundaries.
Nine- Increase Your Covenant with God
The Holy Bible also tells us just as God our Abba Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are considered as one entity although they can be comprised individually as three. Take time to read, pray and seek Him daily. Set time aside before sleeping to talk with God intimately. Ask Him to communicate back to you and reveal Himself to you more and more. In the areas you are considered as being weak, press in more with your prayers, Bible studies, and relationship building with God. King David of the Holy Bible spent the majority of his time seeking God. He understood that his connection with God was very present when he talked with Him. He also understood the feeling of emptiness when he was not connected. This can be seen in his Psalms.
Ten - Establish Your Boundaries
Now that you have taken time to define your self-awareness; strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats; and your environment; you have exposed the intruder and how they are a hindrance to your environment. It is time to establish boundaries where you want them to be. You will now, prayerfully consider how you will assertively show and inform your intruder of you boundaries for your body, soul, and inner-spirit. This will protect your well being emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Boundaries in relationships is an intricate part of your well being for an empowered lifestyle. Don't miss out on getting equipped to have an enjoyable and peaceful life with your newly defined boundaries.
By Rev. Dr. Donna Ghanney